Stop Thinking About Me

Sometime last spring I noticed a small bump near the end of  Gray-bee’s left eyebrow. I made an appointment with his pediatrician. We were insrtucted to measure the bump and then measure again about six months later. If the bump was smaller after six months then it would probably continue to shrink until it was gone, but if it was larger then we would need to return to see what was the next step.

The next step was to see an Ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) doctor.

This bump that was by Gray-bee’s eye was about the size of a pea and although it stayed in place it also moved under his skin. Gray-bee was so proud of his bump. He loved the attention he would get from people inspecting his bump and usually held still. Sometime between the appointment with the pediatrician and his appointment with the ENT, Graybee and Holden got into a fight and Holden ended up hitting Gray-bee with a Whack-A-Mole hammer right on his bump. You read that right. A Whack-A-Mole hammer. The screaming was 90% about pain and 10% about making sure Holden got in trouble.

Good news, Gray-bee no longer has a bump by his eye. 

Now it’s a pancake.

The doctor felt Gray-bee’s bump pancake and delivered the good news that Gray-bee’s bump was in the best spot because when he grows up he will get big bushy eyebrows that will cover any scar he may end up with from removing it. Gary wasn’t there so I just want to know how the doctor knows that Gray-bee will have big bushy eyebrows when he grows up. (Note to self: Schedule eyebrow waxing first thing tomorrow.)

The doctor ordered up a facial CT scan to get a better look at the bump before surgery so there would be no surprises. I made the arrangements with the hospital for a 5:30am appointment. Gary immediately volunteered to be the one to take Gray-bee to the hospital. I wanted to protest, but let’s face it, Gary the early bird is better suited for this job than Heidi the night owl. Plus this gives him more opportunity to show off his Super-Dad skills. (Hey Gary, nobody likes a show-off.)

Gray-bee was in a good mood before he left for his appointment, but that probably has a lot to do with the fact that he had no idea that he would be getting an IV in his arm. And even better than that, it seems that Gray-bee is blessed with my veins and it took three tries sticking him with a needle in his arm before they found a vein. Sorry Gray-bee.

They knocked Gray-bee out for the procedure so that he would hold still for his CT scan. It only took a few minutes and Gray-bee was done.

He was very groggy when he first woke up and Gary said he had a hard time getting the popsicle in his mouth. I wish there was some video.

The hospital called a few days later. Gray-bee will be going in for minor surgery next month to have his “pancake” removed.

It won’t be easy getting him to return to the hospital quietly. Maybe I should tell him we are going out for a popsicle. (Sucker!)

It’s hard being naughty all day. Sometimes you just need a nap.

Last week.

I want to forget last week.

I am tired.

I am tired and it is mostly due to one child.

Isobel.

She is on a roll.

Last week at 11:00am my cell phone alarm went off for Holden to take his first dose of anti-seizure medicine for the day. I am thinking that I am teaching him some kind of responsibility in asking him to bring me his medicine, but really it is because I have one million other things going on that it is just easier to ask Holden to help out. He runs and brings me the small bottle (with a child-proof lid) and the medicine plunger to measure out his dosage. After he takes his medicine I send him off to put his medicine back on the shelf. And then I forget about the medicine, because I don’t have to think about it again until 8:00 at night.

Then at 11:30AM, just thirty minutes after “medicine time”, I hear Holden screaming, “Mom! Isobel is drinking my medicine!” I get up to look for Isobel and take the bottle away from her, but I do not panic because I know that I screwed the child safety proof cap back on tight.

Then I find Isobel. With Holden’s medicine. With the lid off. Drinking Holden’s medicine. Happily drinking it.

Panic.

I grab my cell phone and dial poison control.

The verdict? Take Isobel to the Emergency Room.

Now.

I have no idea how she got the cap off. Maybe I didn’t screw it back on tight like I thought. Maybe she is channeling She-ra Princess of Power and twisted it off on her own. I load up the boys and Isobel and head for the ER. On my way I call my mom and ask if she could please pick up Olivia from school since I did not know how long I would be. 

I get to the front desk, “Poison Control said they would call you and let you know that I was on my way with my baby….”

To which the very “sensitive” woman behind the desk answers, ”Oh yes, the OD?”

WHY ON EARTH WOULD SHE SAY “OD” IN FRONT OF ME ABOUT MY BABY!?!  

We get checked in and are shown to a room in the back. Isobel is calm and thus far no change in behaivior. Then I set her on the hospital bed and start to change her into the hospital gown. This is where she starts to freak out and scream. I think memories from the week before getting her blood drawn are coming back to her. She is inconsolable.

The nurses bring in a small selection of movies hoping that Isobel would calm down watching them. …At least it kept the boys entertained.

After the doctor comes in he tells me that we could be there for eight hours.

Panic.

My panic is not for Isobel. Panic because how am I supposed to entertain two small boys for EIGHT HOURS while trying to make Isobel comfortable.

Super Mammy to the rescue. She shows up within twenty minutes to pick up the boys. Thank you mom!

Isobel is hooked up to three chest monitors, one toe monitor and a blood pressure cuff that prevents her from bending her elbow. She HATES it.

I try to calm her down, but nothing is helping at this point. Then they bring in lunch for both of us. She was starving, because she ate Holden’s medicine right before lunch. Apparently it’s not too filling. Mmm… peanut butter and jelly, almost as yummy as Holden’s medicine. She calmly and happily eats her lunch.

Isobel is content to sit on my lap for the first few hours that we are there, but she soon realizes that she wants to move. Which leads her to discover that it is hard to move when you can only go as far as your blood pressure cuff will allow.

The doctor explained that the only big side affects to the medication are drowsiness and behavioral problems (to which I assure him the the fit until she gets food and the fit because she is hooked up to the wires are NOT out of character for her) and then he explains that there are no real serious problems caused from taking the medicine, for example it doesn’t cause seizures. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I knew that the anti-seizure medicine did not cause seizures. He may not have found that too funny.

The nurses came in and unhooked Isobel from the monitors so I could get her to take a nap. She was in Heaven! She bolted out of the open door before anyone could catch her. She did not like going back into her room.

I soon got her down for a nap around 3:30 and within twenty minutes a nurse comes in to wake her to make sure she was able to wake up. She opens her eyes, whimpers and falls back asleep. Ten minutes after that another nurse comes in to re-attach Isobel to the monitors. Good news, I don’t have to claw the nurses eyes out. She stays asleep until about 4:45.

When Isobel first woke up with all of her chords and wires back on she was not as mad as she was before. She would take her toe monitor off and listen to the beeping and then ask for me to put it back on. …Repeat. At least she wasn’t crying.

Then Gary showed up. I know he was there to see his Isobel, but I like to think that he was there for me, my knight in shining armor ready to make everyting better. Gary has magical powers like that, you know.

I was glad that Gary was there to help me as Isobel fought with the chords that she hated and wanted out of that room. That girl can throw a fit. At least we got her to stop hitting everyone. Now she just hits everything.

Shortly after this video the doctor came in with Isobel’s discharge papers and we were clear to go home. Isobel is fine and back to eating weird things. I caught her licking a dishwasher soap cube yesterday. Ugh. Is anyone else thinking Pica?

I am not a vegetarian. I eat meat. But sometimes I just want something a little bit lighter. While talking with my sister a while ago she mentioned making her own veggie burgers. Why had I never thought of that before!?! That was a great idea (now I just have to convince Gary that it is a great idea).

While talking with Heather she mentioned what she did not like about the recipes that she tried. The taste was very “beany”. She had tried two different recipes. One with a black bean base and one with a kidney bean base. Around this same time I came across a recipe that had a chick pea (garbanzo bean) base. Chick peas do not have an overpowering bean taste. I use chick peas to make hummus and I LOVE hummus! I was excited to try it.

I changed the recipe a little to accomidate my family. Here is what I did…

CHICK  PEA VEGGIE BURGER

2 eggs
1/2 cup dry bread crumbs (I also used cracker crumbs one time)
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1 medium carrot, shredded
1/3 cup shredded cheddar cheese (or colby jack, swiss, pepper jack, etc…)
1/4 cup chopped onion ( I grate my onion on a cheese grater to “disguise” them)
1/4 cup green olives (I accidentally added 1/2 cup last time I made these and it did not affect the taste)
1 TBSP. dried parsley (I left this out the second time and it was fine)
1 TBSP. lemon juice
2 cloves garlic, minced (or a hefty spoonful of minced garlic from a jar… lazy)
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 can (15 oz) chickpeas (garbanzo beans) rinsed and drained

In food processor, combine everything but the chick peas; cover and pulse four times. Add chickpeas; pulse until chopped. Do NOT puree. Refrigerate at least 45 minutes.

Shape mixture into patties and remember that they won’t shrink so they will be as big as you shape them. Cook over medium heat for 3-5 minutes on each side. To make this truly healthy, serve on a whole wheat hamburger bun.

Now it’s time to give you another awesome option. I shaped my patties and laid them out on a cookie sheet lined with my silpat mat and set them in the freezer for about four hours. Place the frozen patties in a freezer zip loc bag. Now you can have a veggie burger whenever you want. I cook mine on a George Foreman grill right from the freezer and it comes out perfectly.

I was able to talk Gary into trying these for dinner and the best response I got out of him was, “They are better than I thought they would be.” In Gary language that means he thought they were good, but for him, nothing beats a good old fashioned meaty burger. If I wanted a veggie burger I would be eating alone.

Gary made hamburgers on Friday and while he was cooking his burgers on the stove top I threw one of my fozen veggie patties on the George Foreman grill and we all enjoyed burger night as a family. It turns out I don’t have to eat alone after all.

Isobel is a funny little girl. She is determined to do things her own way (most children are).

The other day she discovered that she can pick paint off the wall in the computer room. Then she discovered that she likes to eat the paint chips.

If eating paint chips wasn’t bad enough, our house was built in the 1920’s so chances are good that the paint chips that she is eating have lead in them.

I call Isobel’s Pediatrician to find out where I go to get her tested for lead. The weirdest thing about all this (aside from Isobel craving paint chips) is that no one seems to be in any kind of panic about the possibility of my baby having lead poisoning. The nurse takes three hours to call me back with information on where to go and what to do to get Isobel tested. THREE HOURS! Then she casually asks me if I am able to take Isobel to the lab today for a blood draw. “YES!”

I get to the lab and they don’t have the paperwork that was supposed to be faxed over. It turns out there is more than one lab in the valley. Who knew? Not me. (Well, now I know.) She calls to the other lab in the hospital and guess what, they don’t have the fax order either! This game is getting old. They finally call the Pediatricians office and ask them to fax them the order for the blood draw.

During all of this Isobel finds her pink bunny and the milk bottle I had stashed in my diaper bag that was meant as a surprise for her on the car ride home. If I take it away now she will never cooperate when it is her turn. It’s a good thing she has no idea what’s coming.

The nurse that is working in the lab is very pregnant and she gets someone from upstairs to come down and help her with Isobel. When the man that came to help is informed of what the blood draw is for he says, “Lead? You don’t need to worry about that anymore, right?” Apparently he lives in a world that was built after 1978.

When it is Isobel’s turn the nurse has me hold her on my lap while the male technician holds her arm in place. Isobel is fine… until the woman ties the band around her little baby arm. Then she starts to scream. So much for not knowing what’s coming. She screams and cries the whole time to which the man says, “Wow, she’s strong”. And becuase I am a mother that is part robot (I was programmed to love you) I am a little disappointed that I couldn’t get any pictures of this.

The blood draw does not take too long and the nurse was so kind and felt bad that Isobel was so upset. I set Isobel down to gather up our things and she is still very mad at the nurse. She is so mad that she “yells” at the nurse in her own baby way and then, from five feet away, she air hits the nurse. LIke I said, very angry.

Isobel was not just mad at the nurse. She was also mad at me. Mad at me for holding her and not stopping the “mean nurse”. She does not want to listen to me and ignores me as I try to get her to follow me to the car. Now is the perfect time to get out my camera…

She eventually forgave me.

The blood is sent to Salt Lake because they do not have the equipment to test for lead here. It will take three days to get the results back. There is a serious non rushed theme going on here. I get the call back three days later that Isobel is fine. “Are you sure that her lead levels aren’t elevated even a little bit? Because she has been eating paint chips.” The nurse assures me that Isobel is fine.

Isobel never exhibited any signs of being sick, I only had her tested because she was eating paint chips. I just felt like the possibility of a child having lead poisoning would induce a greater panic and faster results. It seems like it is something that was made out to be urgent, yet there were so many people who had no idea where to get tested, how to get tested, or that she should even be tested at all. It would be helpful if someone would let me know when I am supposed to panic.

This video was taken last year. I love the boys twinner shirts and my favorite is Gray-bee’s shopping cart dance. Enjoy!

I like foods that are healthy. I like broccoli, cauliflower, hummus, wheat bread, brussel sprouts, tomatoes, cucumbers, green peppers, oranges, spinach, blueberries, yogurt, bananas, etc…

I also like foods that are not healthy. I like chocolate chip cookies, peanut M&M’s, banana cream pie, chocolate, any kind of peanut butter and chocolate combination, brownies, pumpkin pie, etc…

I have no problem eating vegetables, but I also have no “problem” eating sweets. My sweet tooth is out of control. Whenever I eat something savory I always crave a “sweet chaser”. I made a personal goal that I would not eat dessert-y sweets during the month of January. My plan was to get my body out of the habit of craving something sweet everytime I ate. Then in the month of February it would be “easier” to limit my sweet cravings and keep my sweet tooth under control. Or at least that was my theory.

 My cute friend, Kim, is in charge of Teacher Appreciation in the school that our children attend. She planned a lovely meal for the teachers of soup, fresh fruit, salad, rolls and chocolate mint whoopie pie cookies. I was able to help a little with the set up and helped unload some of the food from Kim’s car. As I carried the large box filled with the chocolate mint whoopie pie cookies I secretly wanted one, but told myself that I didn’t need one. I was stronger than that cookie. I didn’t need it, I just wanted it.

Later that night I returned to the school to help with the clean up and I ended up going home with 1/3 of the leftovers. That included 1/3 of the leftover cookies. Did I mention that there were a lot of cookies left over? Mathematically speaking I went home with 1/3 of… a lot.

I broke down and ate two cookies that night. I let the kids each eat one before bed because the more they ate, the less I ate. Hey, it worked out in my head. I bagged the five remaining cookies and put them on the counter determined not to eat anymore. …that night.

There was no school the next day so all four of my kids were home. I watched my friends two older children while she ran to the store. No big deal. My kids LOVE to play with her kids. My mom was watching my cousins three children while they were out of town, but she had an appointment to renew her passport. Bring them on over. The kids just play together and they pretty much entertain each other so my job is easier, right? Except that sometimes I whip myself into a frenzy for no reason and …I eat two more cookies. And I. Feel. Better.

Guilt starts to set in. My mom returns and she eats one of the cookies. “Are you sure you don’t want another one? Because the more you eat the less I eat.” (There’s that theory of mine, again.) Her self control sickens me. She doesn’t have another.

Gary comes home for lunch and I ask him to “help me” by eating the last two cookies. Then he commits an awful crime against my chocolate filled candy-coated heart. He tells me, “These aren’t very good.” as he is eating one of the cookies.

I give the evil “How dare you” stare and he retreats back to the safety of the kitchen. He finishes his lunch and returns to work.

And then I start thinking. I am thinking that I know Gary. I know him well enough to know that he would not eat the second cookie if he did not like it. My lack of will power leads me to the kitchen to “investigate”. I search the counters for any signs of the last cookie. An empty bag? A half eaten cookie? Anything? Nothing.

He didn’t.

He wouldn’t.

…He would.

I open the lid to the garbage can. There, hidden under an empty bag of Gary’s chips is the last cookie. It is “safely” wrapped in the plastic bag.

I didn’t.

I wouldn’t.

…I did.

I reached in the garbage can, pulled out the tightly wrapped cookie, and I ate it. And I. Felt. Better.

…And then I felt stupid. Did I really just eat a garbage cookie!?!

I sure did.

It took me about seven hours before I confessed the whole thing to Gary.

His response? “You were in a really good mood when I got home from work.”

I sure was.

But, it turns out that I am not stronger than a Chocolate Mint Whoopie Pie Cookie. …A garbage cookie.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

My parents 1974 (My guess is that my Auntie Patti took this picture stealth mode, I LOVE it!)

LOVE RULES!

Me and my Gary 2001 overlooking the Valley

I love my Gary!

This week Liv’s school has Parent Teacher Conferences and she has a half day Thursday and no school on Friday. This means that her school celebrated Valentine’s Day on Wednesday. She exchanged valentines with her class and had her Valentine Social where all the kids get a chance to practice their manners and the parents get to come see their special dance they have been working on.

The school asks that the students dress up in their “Sunday best” for the day and Liv wanted to wear the Annie dress that I made for her because it was red. I wanted something more dressy for her to wear so after she went to sleep on Tuesday night I started making a Valentine outfit for her. Okay, that isn’t entirely true. After she went to bed I got some laundry in the washer, paired up matches in my basket full of socks, put the socks away, and when I was done with that I had to finish watching my show (I love TV on DVD) that I started when I was pairing socks. And then that show left on a “cliffhanger” so I had to watch the next one. And then the next one. I would have watched more, but now I have to wait for Gary to catch up on the episodes so we can send it back to Netflix.

No more excuses, (even if they are lame excuses) it was time to start the Valentine outfit project.

I did not have any kind of pattern that I was working off of, just a general idea in my head, stealing ideas from Korby’s skirt designs. I added the fleece hearts becasue left alone it looked like a Christmas candy cane. The hearts gave it the perfect Valentine look. I sewed on the hearts with just a “V” line to give it depth. The shirt went together so fast and the hair clips were ones I made last year. She looked so cute in her Valentine outfit and if I’d had more than two hours of sleep then I could have told you how cute she looked while she was dancing. Delirium won.

Liv will be definately be wearing this to church on Sunday.

When I picked up Liv from school she told me the greatest news. Several people thought that Korby had made the skirt. To be mistaken for Korby’s sewing skills is an honor indeed. Korby, you ROCK!

I saw this on the So You Think You’re Crafty site and I instantly wanted to make one.

I loved how it wasn’t over the top cheese-y yet still worked for Valentine’s Day. Joe, you may be shocked by this next statement, but I don’t have any Valentine’s decorations. This was the perfect project for me.

The original project was made by Linda at Craftaholics Anonymous using a foam wreath cut into a heart shape. Lately my children have been somewhat of tornadoes of destruction so I felt that if I went the foam heart route then I would inevitably end up in tears when it breaks after all of the hard work I put into it. Trust me. They would break it. And by “they” I mean Holden.

I asked Gary if he would put the manliness of the CNC machine aside for a moment and cut out some wooden heart shapes for me. He designed the heart shape (with Liv’s help) and cut out several sizes for me. I was so excited to start on my project!

Did you know that winding twine around a heart takes FOREVER!!! It took a good eight hours over two days for me to finish this project, but I love how it turned out. It hangs proudly on my front door.

Gary cut out two sets of hearts for me and we gave my sister-in-law one of the sets. She is so creative! Check out what she did with one of her hearts here!